Melia Golf Resort in Cozumel September

First time to Mexico during Hurricane season and it turned out awesome for us in Cozumel. See the crowd in the picture. Not so much for the peeps in Cabo San Lucas. Yikes. Nicky and I used all our combined points to pay for the airfare and all-inclusive hotel. Yea! Several years ago, I had about 48K points and American expired them for me. Thanks AA.

First day was a day of swim up bar. Learned that a Margarita at this all-inclusive was about 3/4 cup of tequila, a splash of another liquor (Cointreu?), and a splash of margarita mix. Awesome....well, if you don't need to be anywhere early the next day. The hotel staff was super friendly and helpful the entire trip. We had a beach view room, but were upgraded to a beach suite for free with a walk out room to our own personal Jacuzzi and the beach. 

Second day was golf. The Cozumel golf club is awesome. The workers are so nice and accommodating. The course and the greens were amazing. We were warned multiple time about the crocodiles, but were disappointed to NOT see any of them. You are not allowed to retrieve lost balls that are not on the fairway or near water so we brought 50 refurbished balls with us. We were too embarrassed to count how many were left at end of the round. We both had to walk the walk of shame after our round and the score card was surely eaten by an invisible croc. The golf course is also a bird sanctuary so many colorful birds. Our hotel stay included green fees which are expensive there...at least $150 a person. We only paid $62 for the both of us....I think that was cart fee and club rental.They provided herb smelling moist towels at the end of the round. 

Third day, we rented a clown car to drive around the island. We stopped at the Money

Bar. It has a nice little beach and you can snorkel on a reef nearby. The food....meh. The prices..meh. We kept driving on a road that had a bicycle symbol, but so was everyone else. Later found out that it was a bike only lane for the Ironman that was taking place over the weekend. Oops to us and a lot of other people. We were looking for the lighthouse and couldn't find it because the sign said Point Sur. I told Nicky  "Let's pull over at 7-11 to get directions...said no one ever in Cozumel". Anyway, we finally figured it out.

We then did the snorkeling trip from hell. I am a certified scuba diver and have dove in

Cozumel in the past. They drop you in a reef and the current floats you down the reef until the boat picks you up at the end. Easy peasy. I  have also snorkeled in Chankkanaub right on the beach just floating around.

At the lighthouse, a guide said he'd help us. He told us we'd have to snorkel out to the buoy WAY out in the ocean. You can't even see the buoy in the picture. It seemed really far and we were skeptical. We decided we could swim that far. Bless our hearts. We get to the buoy and this was the START of our snorkel trip. We are almost 50 years old. We swam against currents for an hour or more. Then, it was time to swim ashore, we are against the current again. Our legs and feet are cramped by now. For every two strokes you take to shore, you are taken back by the current 1.5 strokes. We finally get to shore and now we have to walk a mile back to where we started. Oh, and after all that huffing and puffing, I joined the gym tonight. My gym has a pool. Told Nicky I would probably never swim again. 

After the snorkeling trip from  heck, we stopped at Coconuts on back of island. Coconuts dropped off the photo books at our table. Back in the day, it showed bad Polaroid photos of boobs. It now has clear photos of much more graphic images. Almost pornographic, but not quite. Also, bring cash. They still don't have electricity over there and do not take credit cards. We also had two friends join us for lunch.

Next day, fortunately, we had scheduled a couples massage on the beach. Awesome. They even massaged our faces. Aaaawwww. We ended up on the beach and at the swim up bar. Note to self.....love Nick when he is tipsy. He repeatedly told me that I was "smoking hot".

Speaking of only taking cash...you need it if you lose your customs paper. Gosh darnit. I'm the most organized person ever and my fancy paper disappeared. Had to go to immigration at airport and then go to ATM to get pesos to pay my $27 USD ($300 peso) lost paper fee. Ugh.  

So my Citibank lets me make purchases in Cozumel, but Saturday night, when I'm back to Arlington (where my credit card is registered), I order a pizza and my card is declined to credit card fraud. Really? It is fixed now, but REALLY?

Inexpensive low carb nachos

Go Cowboys! Nachos sounded awesome but I'm trying to keep my carbs low, so tortilla chips are out and bell pepper is in. This recipe as I made it serves one.

My total cost of ingredients was $6, but I only used about $2 worth of them.

• Bell pepper $.99 (used entirely)
• Refried beans $.85 (used about 1/4 of a can)
• Cheddar cheese $3 (used about 1\6 of bag)
• Sliced jalapenos $1.50 (used just a few of them)

If you want to really low carb, nix the beans and replace with ground beef or shredded chicken. I was using what I had in my house today.

If you follow this recipe, it ends up being about:

204 calories, 11 fat, 15.5 carbs, 5 fiber, net carbs 10.5, and 11 protein.

1. Cut bellpepper into small pieces.
2. Top with beans or meat.
3. Add cheese and jalapenos.
4. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

Personally I prefer tortilla chips, but lets just do a quick compare.

My new favorite website.

What I've Learned from Crime Shows

Ocassionally, I get insomnia. My eyes are too tired to watch TV so I listen to crime shows. Every word is broadcast with lots of drama so need to watch. I've learned a lot. Keep in mind that these helpful hints are based on true events.

How to get caught:

• Leave your cigarette butts at the scene.
• Leave your beer cans at the scene. (Side note: beer cans are tracked by 15 minute lots)
• Video tape your crime taking place.
• Talk to your incarcerated partner about the crime on a recorded phone line. 
• Go into a store that has video surveillance and buy duct tape and bleach.
• Return to the scene...especially to help locate a missing victim.
• Google "how to commit the perfect crime"
• Kill your spouse while you are on Match.com.
• Leave your cell phone on with its GPS capabilities when commiting crimes. 
• Drive your vehicle with a body in it across toll roads or bridges with surveillance.
• Burn victims remains in your back yard barbecue pit.
• Just happen to have replaced the carpet, washed the car, or cleaned the entire house with bleach when the cops show up.

Things to ensure you do not easily become a victim of a violent crime:

• Don't be a stripper.
• Don't have an 'estranged' husband.
• Make sure your bra and panties do not match.
• Never open the door to:
• strangers
• your stalker
• your troubled teen and their signficant other that just got kicked out of another home
• your troubled niece or nephew
• your own grown overly entitled children
• Never talk about:
• the money you have in the bank or the big check you just got
• the money you hide in your house.
• your big life insurance policy
• Never have enough life insurance that the beneficiary will never have to work again.
• Be wary of all your neighbors or anyone with a view of your living quarters.
• Never let any one in the house to use your phone.
• Do not walk up to talk to a stranger in a car, or especially a van. As a matter of fact, never associate with anyone that owns a van. 

Things to know about stalkers:

• NEVER, I mean never, agree to meet with your stalker to talk about the situation. You will be killed immediately.
• There is not much you can do when you have a stalker except be afraid the rest of your life.
• When a stalker questions your whereabouts, be afraid.  They have already installed a GPS tracking system on your car.
• The judge may provide you with a protective or restraining order. This just makes your stalker really mad.
• When your stalker breaks the restraining order, and you go to court, the judge will thoroughly peave your stalker by putting them in jail for 6-14 days. Then, your stalker will leave jail and kill you.

Happy Friday! Keep it safe.

Paleo breakfast casserole FAIL

My daughter told me she wanted to do the Paleo diet so I thought I would do it too. As a side note, she told me she cheated the other morning. She ate three donuts and two Kolaches. I was like "That is not a cheat. A cheat is one donut. That was an all out binge".

I have been looking at new recipes. Well I found a breakfast casserole that sounded awesome on www.paleogrubs.com. I bought coconut milk and almond flour (because I could not find the recommended coconut flour). You are supposed to create a crust and bake it on parchment paper. 

First, I accidentally spilled half of the egg/flour mix on the floor. I could not find parchment paper at the store so I just figured it was now called wax paper instead. I spread the mixture that did not land on the floor onto the wax paper and put it into the oven. Immediately, my oven started smoking, but a little smoke does not scare me. I quickly Googled "Can I bake on wax paper?" Ummmm. The answer was no. So now I have wax paper and have no idea what it is good for. I threw my burning paper and crust away.

My pizza cassserole has no pizza crust. So here is what I ended up making.

• I cooked the bacon.
• I wilted spinach in the bacon grease.
• I added onions and garlic to pan and cooked it.
• I put the bacon on a plate.
• I layered diced tomatoes and spinach mix.
• I then added sliced avocado, chives, black pepper, and a squeeze of lime.

 It was way yummy. So much for the pizza part.

Fort Lauderdale Review....meh

Hayley only gets two weeks the entire year off from school. For her summer break we decided on a beach trip. We didn't have enough time to get her a passport to go to Mexico...not entirely true. I wasn't going to spend $300 on an expedited passport. Typically, I do the Redneck Riveria.....Pensacola, Orange Beach, etc. The hotels were pricey this year. Flying to Fort Lauderdale and staying on beach was much less expensive than driving 12 hours and staying in the Redneck Riveria. Food was soooo expensive. Beach was nice, but no alcohol on beach, no frisbees and all kinds of rules. Lots of yachts and mansions. Will not go back unless someone gives me a free trip there.

We stayed at the Sheraton on the beach and I have to say that the staff were wonderful. Hayley and I had checked our luggage into guest services so we could run around while waiting on a beach view room to be available. Oh, and they upgraded us for free if we were willing to wait 2 hours..which we were.

We went to the pool and then went shopping. We got to the room and Hayley says we forgot our bags. "I'm like what are you talking about. We have our new stuff". She's like "No mom. We have no luggage." I called guest services and they immediately brought it up. They also brought me a bottle opener for my imported beer. Unfortunately, the hotel had no air pump, so we had to blow up our own air mattresses. 

We went fishing, we went on an airboat swamp tour with the Gator Boyz, and laid around on the beach. We were the only two people who had air mattresses. We did a lot of floating in the ocean. And yes, they cut up my huge Blue Runner to use for bait. 

Air travel was horrible. On our trip out early in the morning, I30 was shut down, and we were diverted off the highway. Got to airport and only ONE person working security. We wanted to get there early so we could have breakfast and buy magazines, but au contraire, we buckled in at 7:18 a.m. for 7:20 a.m. flight after RUNNING through airport and the plane pulled out at 7:24 a.m. We had no food and no magazines, but we made it. Whew. 

Way back was worse. AA flight was canceled for mechanical reasons and all later flights were booked. We located a US Airways flight with connection in Charlotte. We got to Charlotte. Our plane arrived but the crew was missing. Another flight canceled. 

So I've always heard that airlines put you up when you are stranded. Not true. I got a Desperate Traveler discount, so I paid a discounted rate of $75 to spend 6 hours in the Comfort Suites and I only had to wait on hold for 30 minutes with the Desperate Traveler program to find a hotel and shuttle. Blah.

We arrived at midnight and had to get back up at 6am for flight. See pic of hotel in Charlotte. We were waiting for the twins to appear. Very strange, but we immediately went into our room and turned on the TV. Deja vu. Family guy was on and immediately mentioned the Twins in the Shining. I got the chills. 

So we get up for the free breakfast and Hayley makes Belgian Waffles. She says "I could live here". I said "Where? Charlotte or Comfort Suites". She said "Comfort Suites....just for the free breakfast and waffles".

Hayley and I got last two seats on morning flight and I got first class. I gave it up to a young man in an Air Force uniform. How could I not? It was 4th of July and I didn't pay for that ticket and I didn't need free drinks at 10am. When I told him I'd trade seats, I was hoping he had 8A or something not too bad, but nooooooo, it was 28D with a stinky guy next to me and a baby behind me which made me feel better that I gave him my seat. I would have felt horrible if he was stuck in that seat. I received free wine (at 10am) and many thank yous from the young man and the airline attendants. 

We arrived home 4th of July. I asked Hayley if she wanted to stay the night at Nicks with us since her car was in Arlington already. She said "No". Nick asked "Why not?" The look on her face was priceless shen she said "If you spent 6 days with my mom, you'd go home too". She also said she wasn't flying or leaving Texas anytime soon. 

Did I mention how there is NO southern hospitality in Fort L? We talked to two nice ladies.....both from Texas...go figure. Another deja vu,  but one used to be a bartender at Blue Martini in Plano. I'm quite sure she waited on me before when I was that fun, single, Frisco girl that enjoyed half priced martinis in the Shops of Legacy. That, RA Sushi, and Gordon Biersch were regular hang outs for a few years.

Inexpensive Hair Coloring

I have not blogged in quite a while. Been super busy lately. Busy at work and playing quite a bit of golf and not really getting much better.  Blah. Shooting about 100 on most days. Me and my pitching wedge are at odds lately.

Hayley gets only one week off this summer, so I decided to  taking her to Fort Lauderdale for her break. I have never been to that side of Florida, but it was very inexpensive...well at least for airfair and hotel...the rest is yet to be seen. We may do an airboat tour, and a tour of the Intracoastal Waterway mansions.....depending on how we feel. We may lay on the beach with books. Hayley is easy going and spontaneous. We travel well together, so really looking forward to this trip.

Hayley has been coloring my hair for free for the past 6 months while in school at Aveda. She has done a really great job. Anyway, the 'free' part stops now. She has been there long enought that she can take appointments now. So if anyone, wants to book with her, please get in touch with me and I'll give you her information. Aveda is in Dallas off of 75 and Park. Half head highlights are $44, full is $50. Here is the full price list. 

Aveda Student Prices

She loves to color hair and is ready to do anyone we know. However, she has informed me that she wants to practice cutting hair on complete strangers.  I asked her to texturize my hair for me recently and she said if I had seen her mannequin after she tried texturizing, I would not have asked. Honesty is one of her endearing qualities.

It is amazing how many people go to Aveda Institute and get their hair done the day of their wedding. Hello, it is a school. 

I hope everyone is having a great summer. The weather has been pretty mild and just plain awesome.

2011 Camaro Review

In December I bought my car, Snowflake, off of a sheet of ice. I traded in my BMW Z4. I'd like to talk about the pros and cons of the Camaro SS.

Figures that my car pic has Nick in it and not me.

Snowflake is beautiful and so was the Z4. One of my favorites features of both cars is the heated seats. You can almost drive top down in any weather if your bootie is warm. I  now have a backseat which would be perfect for a gym bag, but I quit the gym. Not big enough for people, but works for golf clubs, laptops, etc.

I love the Heads Up display in the Camaro. I love the speed and the little growl it gives you when you start it up. The Cons: It is clunky and drinks gas like an alcoholic drinks free vodka. The visors are tiny. Never thought I'd have a complaint about a visor, but it is the worst sun visor ever. There is some kind of cover thingy to use when the top is down, but it looks like it is going to fly off so I don't use it.

I was visiting Hayley recently. We were going to lunch on Greenville. Hayley tells me I need to "Bust a Bitch".....aka do a u-turn. Well, the Camaro does not whip around like a Z4. I had to pull into a parking lot, turn around, and then go back out. I need several lanes to bust a bitch these days.

I STILL can't park and it's been four months now.  When the kids were little I had a string of SUVs. I don't understand why I cannot park this car.  Every day I pull into my parking spot. I open the door and look out to see where the line is. Then, I shut the door, put it in reverse and straighten myself back out. Nick laughs at my parking most days at the house.

With that being said, I love the car and get compliments on how pretty it is weekly. The commute from Arlington is killing me. I have a small dent already (????) and I already have a chip in the windshield. For some reason, it doesn't matter how far out in a parking lot I park, I will come back out of a store or restaurant and will be surrounded by big white pick up trucks. Urgh.

So Nick and I are going to the Meacum auction in Houston this week. Look for us on TV.

Thursday April 10
Esquire: 11:30 AM - 3:00 PM Live
NBCSN: 3:30 PM - 6:30 PM Live
MECUM.COM: 6:35 PM - 7:00 PM Live

Friday April 11
Esquire: 11:30 AM - 2:30 PM Live
NBCSN: 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM Live
MECUM.COM: 6:10 PM - 7:00 PM 

Summer is coming. Getting ready for some golf.